No:
Why Kids – of All Ages – Need to Hear
It and Ways Parents Can Say It
Lately,
it seems our kids aspire to a false hope that
good things come to those who ignore the word
No. More and more, I see a new generation with
the high expectation that good things will quickly
come their way. Who is teaching our kids that
life will serve them whatever they want on a silver
platter? As with so many other problems our kids
face these days, the entertainment media seem
to be a big part of the challenge.
For years, I have said whoever tells the stories
defi nes the culture. For kids today, the dominant
storytellers have become the TV, video game, and
computer screens. Today’s kids dance to a
media drumbeat of messages saying “MORE,
EASY, FAST, and FUN.” The result: a new epidemic
engulfi ng our kids. I call it “DDD”
or “Discipline Defi cit Disorder.” The
symptoms include disrespect, impatience, a need
for instant gratifi cation, infl ated expectations,
a sense of entitlement, and out-ofcontrol consumerism.
If left untreated, DDD will yield spiritually
and psychologically fl abby kids. That’s
because self-discipline is such a key factor in
future success. Research shows that self-discipline
is twice as strong a predictor of school success
as is intelligence. That means unless we rebuild
this crucial trait in our children they will be
ill equipped to compete in the global marketplace.
In my new book, No: Why Kids – of All
Ages – Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can
Say It, I explain how families can learn to
say no to the harmful effects of the media and
yes to a promising, healthy future. No isn’t
just a word. It’s a strategy. By saying No
when we need to, we help children learn the skills
of self-discipline, including selfreliance, respect,
integrity, the ability to delay gratifi cation,
and a host of other crucial character traits.
Dr.
Dave’s Tips to Saying “No” to
Your Children
It’s
natural for parents to want to keep their children
smiling and cheerful. But if kids don’t ever
get angry at their mothers and fathers, or get
frustrated or become disappointed, that might
be a warning sign that parents are not doing their
jobs.
Here are a few tips to get you started:
Learn how to say NO.
Support your child, don’t rescue.
Encourage, don’t coddle, your child.
Get kids what they need but not everything
they want.
Back up your child’s teachers and schools.
Become MediaWise
Have clear and high expectations.
Expect kids to do chores.
Set and enforce clear limits and consequences.
Expect kids to volunteer and help others.
Parents
Can No Longer Ignore Their Children’s Video
Game Habits
The
recent craze for the new Sony PlayStation 3 and
Nintendo Wii continues to demonstrate the huge
consumer demand for video games and gaming consoles
that bring virtual reality and high definition
into our living rooms and bedrooms. While this
new technology is exciting, there are significant
risks to children and teenagers if their access
to games is left unchecked.
On November 29, 2006, the National Institute on
Media and the Family, released its 11th Annual
MediaWise Video Game Report Card in Washington,
D.C. Institute founder David Walsh, Ph.D., was
joined by U.S. Senator Joe Lieberman (ID-CT).
The Report Card highlighted a number of issues
including an improvement in major retailer’s
enforcement of policies keeping mature games out
of kids’ hands. The report card also called
for additional research on how video games impact
school performance, children’s health and
behavioral development.
Generating the most buzz in the media was the
Report Card’s fi rst ever grade for parents.
Although research found that parents are failing
to use the tools and information provided to protect
their kids, they received a grade of INCOMPLETE
because parents still get mixed messages from
the industry.
Institute
News
MediaWise Network Releases Parental Guide
to Children’s Cell Phone Use
Cell phones are not new to kids in the U.S. But
as the Internet, television, movies and music
make their way into our kid’ cell phones,
parents will face new challenges keeping track
of their kids’ screen time. The new MediaWise®
parent guide to cell phones will tell you what’s
new and what to look out for around the next bend.
To receive a copy of the guide, please visit our
Web site and join the MediaWise Network by clicking
here.
After 10 Years, the Institute
Continues Proud Tradition of Education, Research
and Advocacy
For 10 years, the National Institute on Media
and the Family has been the world’s leading
advocate for building healthy families and communities
through the wise use of media. Through research,
initiatives and public awareness, the National
Institute on Media and the Family has provided
parents with information on the positive and negative
effects of media on children and youth.
In November, the National Institute on Media and
the Family sponsored its fi rst annual reception
to honor the accomplishments and successes for
the past 10 years. In addition, the Cargill Foundation
and U.S. Senator Joe Lieberman (ID-CT) were honored
for their dedicated support and commitment to
the National Institute on Media and the Family.
Parental
Tips to Supervise Your Child’s Game Playing
Follow the ratings. The ESRB ratings
aren’t perfect, but they are useful for
keeping truly inappropriate content out of
kids’ hands.
Use Parental Controls. All the new
consoles include parental controls. Learn
how to use them.
Put your kids on a media diet. Growing
kids need healthy amounts and types of media
just like they need healthy food.
Set limits and be willing to say “no.”
Help your kids understand that instant gratifi
cation isn’t always the right answer.
Watch what your kids watch, play what
your kids play. Talk with your kids about
the games they love to play and help them
understand how the games fi t with your family
values.
For more free parenting guides and tool kits join
the MediaWise Network at: www.mediawise.org
You can help us help families
Future research and outreach efforts would not be possible
without continued support.
The Institute accepts donations via mail, telephone, and
online:
Editor:
Monica Walsh
Writing and Design:
New School Communications
National
Institute on Media and the
Family
606 24th Avenue South, Suite 606, Minneapolis,
MN 55454 Toll-free 888.672.5437
Fax 612.672.4113 Web site
www.mediafamily.org
Individuals and organizations are encouraged
to print and distribute copies of this newsletter.
Please call for permission to republish any
of this material.
The Institute’s mission is to maximize
the benefits and minimize
the harm of media on children and families
through research, education, and advocacy.
Our
media culture is changing how kids learn.
Together we make sure it's for the better. Donate
Now!
Lately,
it seems our kids aspire to a false hope that
good things come to those who ignore the word
No. More and more, I see a new generation with
the high expectation that good things will quickly
come their way. Who is teaching our kids that
life will serve them whatever they want on a silver
platter? As with so many other problems our kids
face these days, the entertainment media seem
to be a big part of the challenge. 
It’s
natural for parents to want to keep their children
smiling and cheerful. But if kids don’t ever
get angry at their mothers and fathers, or get
frustrated or become disappointed, that might
be a warning sign that parents are not doing their
jobs.
The
recent craze for the new Sony PlayStation 3 and
Nintendo Wii continues to demonstrate the huge
consumer demand for video games and gaming consoles
that bring virtual reality and high definition
into our living rooms and bedrooms. While this
new technology is exciting, there are significant
risks to children and teenagers if their access
to games is left unchecked. 
